A wonder, no wonder: March 2009

A wonder, no wonder

Monday, March 30, 2009

Meant to Live

Wouldn’t it actually be wildly interesting to actually count down the days, hours, minutes or seconds until you actually pass away? Wouldn’t that amount of time left just motivate you in some way? What would you do in your remaining time? Would you do everything that you wanted to do?

Now then, come think of it when you realise you had another 65 years to live. Would that motivate you in some way? Or just make it seem like an eternal torture to live your life for another 65 years? In some sense, it boils down to purpose. Our reason for living on. Our reason for coping with the mundane routine of life. Our reason for bearing with the annoying people that annoy you time and again.

After all, what then is our personal reason for living? Why are we so nice to people? I find myself staring into the mirror, unable to recognise the shadow staring back in return. There is no reason to live, nor is there any reason to love. Thinking back on life passed, thinking about all the people I’ve put up with, thinking of the lives i’ve worked so hard to change, including my own. What for? Intrinsic value? Do we just do these things to make ourselves feel accomplished or do we just do these things just to make others look at us in a certain enlightening way? Then again, one must realise that if you don’t ultimately have a meaning or purpose, well, in the words of Agent Smith in the Matrix, we’re better off getting “deleted” instead.

Soul searching essentially is searching, looking for a soul. Your own, in reference. Why bother searching for a soul in the first place if you haven’t lost it in the first place? Unfortunately, it isn’t just that easy to walk around and pick up a soul like how you would with 10 cents. (I’m sure souls are worth a little more than that)

Cynically, some people deserve to be put out of their pathetic misery. Spending their lives actually making the lives of others that much more miserable. If they live to annoy the hell out of people then maybe they should be removed from their purpose. Totally oblivious to the fact that their little “outbursts” or their annoying mindless droning “chatter” bores and annoys the living life out of people. Delusional toward others, toward life. Unfortunately we can’t put them out. Neither do we have the enjoyment of having a “time left to death” timer above their forehead to remind us about the amount of time left we have to endure.

Once you’ve found your purpose, don’t let go. Otherwise you’ll more or less be like this shadow in the mirror that I stare at face to face. I don’t recognise him anymore; neither do I know why he’s there. He’s tired half the time and can’t bear to live life as it is. Until this shadow finds his purpose or the meaning to his life, he will always be a shadow, gliding silently down hallways and paths. Haunting wherever he goes, going through the motions of infinitely boring life.

posted by The Als @ 2:06 pm 0 comments

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

The hopeless puppy and the sexy kitten. Meow!

Amazingly enough, this has been my most productive day yet. Project meeting, assignment discussions, lessons and surprisingly, it’s another of those days where I feel that my writing is available to flow naturally.

I feel the injustice for all of us. Manuals range from operating machines, how to count cards, how to hack programs, how to create life, how to create bombs and all that. Endless stuff. Manuals in English that teach us how to speak English. Ironic even. Brings us to one astonishing truth: Some wisecrack decided to write the ultimate manual: A manual for Dating. Relationships. Courtship. The Chase. The Game.

Now generally there are many types of dating manuals. Some touch on the basis of dating, certain universal rules of dating that generally everyone in this modern civilized world seems to follow. (Sadly some people don’t, but that’s another story). Putting things into context, it’s a wonder how people are able to put together a manual on the “hows” of the dating ritual. It’s as relationship forming is all part of some process. Well, I do know that there are different stages in which relationships are formed, that’s a given. More so, who in the hell invented the “steps” to complete each stage? It’s not some adventure game where if you solve some puzzle or if you say a certain pick-up line, and poof, the girl’s yours. What ever happened to attraction? What happened to romance? What ever damn happened to being innovative and spontaneous?

What has happened is that this systemic failure of society (and men, basically) is that men today have lost the ability to surprise their partner, male or female. Essentially we’re seeing more and more men being turned into pre-programmed drones who buzz around women and lack every type of basic social etiquette and manner to actually be friends with a lady. (Let alone get her attraction.) Well, when these so-called “men” get faced with a entirely spontaneous question or a situation, they crack. They freeze. What happens is that so much of the time, women these days are being disappointed more and more. Men rush into relationships and become unhappy. Men sleep with their partners and a few months later, find them “boring”. Men don’t know how to attract. Men have forgotten the art of charisma. Men, sadly, have lost the ability to romance. And men, most importantly, and most saddening, have forgotten the art of chivalry. Ladies would gladly agree I’m afraid.

Now, now, The Als isn’t saying he’s some world’s greatest lover or what not. I’m just saying that at least through LIFE’S LESSONS and experience, I’ve learned how to conduct myself well enough. It frustrating how many men are afraid of failure. Animals learn the mating rituals from scratch with some in-built instinct. Humans are no damn different. However, being that we are, HUMANS, each individual is different. I.E. each woman is different. Live with that, men.

We men try very hard I do have to say. We try everything to see how it fits. How each female would ultimately react to what we do. Some of us flex our muscles in hope of attraction. Some of us joke our way into their hearts. Some cook (good skill to learn my fellow men, hint hint.), some clean, some charm and some chim (sophisticate) their way into women’s hearts. So with that said, women, especially those who are single, and available, please. Please look at the bunch of doe-eyed men sitting and smiling enthusiastically beside you and please. Please give them a hint. A BIG ONE. Men are dreadfully ignorant of hints even though you’re smacking them in the head with one. Please do your friendly neighbouring infatuated male a favour by hinting him please. A simple “I think we should go out” or “Get out of my face perv!” would suffice.

To whoever wrote those dating “guides”: Dating and relationships aren’t some Role Playing Game where you have to solve some puzzle or fight some boss to get to the next round of intimacy. Humans are annoyingly different. The cute girl next to you may be the clingy-est baby monkey you’ve ever seen, and the sultry hottie next to her may be have the simplest needs ever. It’s hard to tell and it’s hard to work out this human to human drama!

Men, take a look inside your pants and note the two “things” hanging around saying hello. Yes! As amazing as that looks and sounds (and smells, for some of you) you have balls! So act like you do!

Ladies, take a good look at the eager beaver sitting next to you trying to get a date with you. Write a note, touch his arm, flirt the hell out of him, anything. Just drop a sign to that puppy dog following you around to either leap into your arms or tell him to go eat some poo. Your choice.

posted by The Als @ 5:09 pm 2 comments

Stand up and Watch the Stars

I’m rather bemused by human behaviour on the MRT. I should really think about changing the whole title of this to begin with. Study of the human species is so interesting. The scenario plays out again and again without fail: If a person, say, a female had to choose between an empty seat beside a man or beside a woman, 99% of the damn time she would chose to sit with the woman. The men? They do the same thing albeit less frequently. Now then, what makes us this anti-gender socially? Is it once again the notion of the socially (and somewhat romantically) inept Singaporean? Let’s face it. We’re ranked 13th in terms of “Friendliest Country” and ranked in the top ten of that “countries with worst sex lives survey”. I.E. the new daddies and mummies are not making enough of the babies... and inadvertently, not making enough of the love to go around. Well, kind of reasons out why Singapore doesn’t have much love and thus we rank 13th for “Friendliness”.

Leaping Lizards Batman! What do we do now caped crusader? Well, for a start, China ranks 11th (if I remember correctly). Now, if a country, infamously, is remembered for their rudeness and sharpness in their home culture, can rank 11th in the world, what does this then mean for Singapore? Simply, Singapore doesn’t have enough love (and for that matter, sex) to go around. Not enough babies, not enough courtesy, not enough love and in these over emphasized turbulent times, not enough money. Wow.

Well but take heart from all this! We’re actually very blessed with a whole ton of other things. We have no shortage of people with B.O. during rush hour on the MRT. We have no shortage of people who shove their ways into the MRT. We have no shortage of GST refund packages (Hopefully, God willing.) We have no shortage of price hikes, no shortage of stupid citizen “journalists” who post on that website... uh, what’s it called again? Stomp? Change your name to “Stop”. Please. By the way, FYI, journalism involves reporting facts, without bias and whatnot for the purpose of information or what not. Journalism is NOT posting some crappy mobile phone taken picture of a pissed off man in a Subaru sticking out his middle finger and “REPORTING” that he violated your laws of friendliness by taking your parking lot. OH THE HUMANITY! A STOLEN PARKING LOT! OH WHY LORD, WHY? SOMEONE RESERVED ANOTHER SEAT WITH A TISSUE PAPER PACKET! Get over yourself. One thing Singaporeans need to learn: If you have a damn grievance, instead of hiding behind a damn keyboard and computer screen, take it to the person’s face. If you can’t seem to learn the art of embarrassing people in public, then boo hoo for you. Sad. LEARN IT. I would personally take it to everyone but I don’t have the time or the energy to personally verbally abuse all those out there do I?

One wonders why Singapore is such a stable and beautiful place to live in. One also wonders why Singapore has 2 bloody lesbo women streaking down Holland V. Wonders why Singapore has people reserving space and place. (Hi, for those that have never exercised the squishy thing inside their skull, Singapore is about roughly 650 square kilometers. We’re so tiny and have 5 or 5.5 MILLION people inhumanely crushed into this damn place. We're already living on top of one another, so if I feel I need to “reserve” a space, isn’t it only logical? Anyway, back to point.) Wonders why China (and I have nothing against China or her people. I have many China-ese friends) can rank higher than us in terms of “Friendliness”. CHINA! We're oh-so-beautiful, oh-so-stable, oh-so-clean but sadly, not-so-friendly apparently.

We need to start making peace and... uh... sex, NOT war fellow Singaporeans.
Make peace, not war.
Make love, more babies.
Make more GST refund package!

posted by The Als @ 10:57 am 0 comments

Watch the stars

Now and again you see amazing human drama that really makes you realise the simple pleasures in life.

Being stuck next to a sweaty office man at rush hour in the MRT, WITH B.O has got me thinking that I enjoy having my space. I enjoy having my fresh, clean air. I enjoy having my $1.60's worth of enjoyable journey on the MRT.

I've learnt how to live and move on from having my legs lopped off.

More to come.

posted by The Als @ 1:44 am 0 comments

Monday, March 09, 2009

To the greatest lady warrior

I know I've not been perfect half the time. Rather, I know I've not been perfect most of the time. I sit here with fuzzy memories of our past, yet, I'm haunted with the images from our present.

To the greatest lady warrior I've ever known: I love you. You'll always be in my heart even though you've gone. 4 years you've kept going, yet, 4 years too long, I feel. Each day to think that you're suffering is painful. Although I miss the memories, although I'm haunted by the fact that there will be no more memories to come, I'm happy. I'm happy that after 4 years of suffering, that you're now in a much better place.

I remember the times when we used to make curry puffs together. I remember the time you cooked salty food. I remember the times when I used to grumble at you when you hijacked the television. However, I remember the best that I never visited you when you suffered a stroke. The last time I saw you was 2 hours ago. When you lay in that spotless, white place. You looked as beautiful as you were years ago. 4 years I've neglected to see you because I was a coward. Afriad to break my own heart to see you like that. My last prayer for you is that you please, please forgive me. I've always loved you and will never forget. How I wish I could taste your salty cooking one last time. How I wish I could grumble at you one last time.

To the greatest lady warrior I've known: Thank you for being such a warrior. Through the japanese occupation, through recent times, through the times you always told me to listen to my father when I was a little fucking brat.

Secretly it still aches inside me. The guilt and the regret I'll live with. My last tribute to the warrior that was my grandmother. A hell of a lady. A hell of a warrior. I love you. Always.

Rest in peace Mama, 07 March 2008.

posted by The Als @ 2:11 am 2 comments

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