A wonder, no wonder: June 2009

A wonder, no wonder

Sunday, June 28, 2009

The one day holiday

My past "semester" ended and I was awarded ever so kindly with a one day holiday just before the next "semester" starts this monday. What joy! I flashed an unbridled smile as I crawled lovingly into my bed (IT'S A BED. NOT A MATTRESS. I DON'T CARE) and fell sweetly asleep.

I woke up with the same mentally challenged smile plastered on my face again. (With a little bit of drool on the side) The clock read 2.30pm, which made me smile even wider and looking more so like a complete idiot. The one day holiday was a welcome day off, considering the ultimate crash course in E-commerce, a combo serving of Psycology research methods, toppings of 5 exams, sauces from 10 quizzes, all crammed into a delightable buttered sandwich of 6 weeks. Kiss my ass.

Freaking lazy friday started off with me waking up uber late and sleeping in. Friday came and went with me catching up on news, tv programming, newspapers, (dammit I forgot to read my book, come to think of it). Well, rest was the order of the day here and I lovely moved my mouse with grace and pinaché, killing virtual soldiers with that classic stupid grin on my face. Man. I love going out, but I love days without programs too! Ah yes, the best of both worlds. (Oh shit, that's a Hannah Montana movie title)

posted by The Als @ 10:23 pm 0 comments

Sunday, June 21, 2009

A dedication and a challenge

Lessons coming thick and fast really thought me about something. It kinda made me open my eyes to notice the inner workings of the media and communications circles.. Not to say I don't have a passion for it, but rather, I do have an interest. Well, times wears on and that interest becomes well.. slightly stronger.

Recently, it's been fashion to die. Rather, it's been fashion for innocent people to die. Been bothered by it and been thinking much for the past week or so.

You do find a new found sense of respect for someone when they do pass on. Attending the wake and seeing the body of a beloved colleague and Sergeant was quite humbling. The fact that most of us can't wrap our minds around was the reason why he passed. Acute asthma. Problem was, that he only had asthma when he was a small kid. 15, 20 years on at the age of 30, past marathons, IPPT and numerous days and activities, asthma never came back to haunt him. Until now.

1SG, now SSG Ang Joo Pin was a beloved colleague, respected Sergeant who took care of PYAD and us. He wasn't part of PYAD but still loved us enough to take care of us by helping out during our stressful operations. We'll miss the times you forced us to play soccer with you, forced us to play ping pong with you and miss doing duties with you. We'll miss you tons.

Now, having said that, it's been coming down to crunchtime really, with exams just a few days away. I've been having the time of my life with this new semester! Found quite a few new places to eat at, yada yada. Also, one new thing I realised these couple of months is never to apologise anymore when it comes to:
1) my rights
2) having an opinion

So yes. All you asscracks on the MRT better watch out! You have an issue with that, that's your problem. So sue me heh.

posted by The Als @ 3:20 pm 0 comments

Saturday, June 06, 2009

+1 To pathetic with each passing day.

Rather "interestingly" enough, a little point to ponder regarding living life popped into my head. As humans, in a totally uncertain situation, in a totally foreign place, we tend to gravitate towards things that we identify with. For example, you're stuck in China, don't know anyone, can't speak Chinese and need food. Then you see a Starbucks. You're most probably going to head toward the Starbucks for food, mind you, instead of the chinese eatery next door.

So that's really it. Social conformity. But then again, is it really the word to use?Explaining:

If you've really thought a little about social etiquette and whatnot, really, what, rather, who makes up these rules and regulations to follow? Who said what we should or shouldn't do? And then again, who says we're supposed to conform to what's decided? Aren't we allowed to live our lives as such we wish?

So why then are we living our lives according to imaginary rules set by some imaginary person? Are we that dumb after all? Well, if you spent your time thinking about this issue for the past hour, I congratulate you... for being a complete idiot. I'll explain:

The issue itself is very simple: Social rules are governed by our traditions, national culture and fucking common sense. Then why are we supposed to follow these rules? Easy. Social reponsi-fucking-bility. We want to live in peace with the person next door as is with the person next door living in peace with us. Well then, problem solved.

But, yes, yes, "we're only human". And being human, we feel, we desire to do differently. Oh the whoop-de-frickin-horror. We still entitled to do whatever we want without really anyone doing a damn thing about it. Interesting! Yes, so we're all entitled, DESPITE THESE "RULES", to act according to our whim. Eat whatever we want, do whatever we desire, talk to whoever we want, say whatever we want. No rules against saying whatever we wish huh? No rules against back bitching, no rules against slander (oh wait, THERE IS.), no rules against doing anything to grab the headlines. Oh wait, one more: No rules against scolding the fuck out of someone for being stupid either! Live with that.

For the most part, I believe I'm unique in my own way. Most of everyone I know can agree that I cannot be substituted. I know and believe that.

If someone wants to believe that they're definition of unique is being a non-conformist, then so be it. Don't take people's scolding as a sign of strong bullying the weak. Please, that's such a grossly immature thought. Generally, the rule is that if you fuck around with people around you, generally, well, they'll fuck with you right back. Ye who fires the first shot better be ready to fight a war. Simple as that. Don't go around staring something you can't bloody finish. Oh, btw, refer to above when I said:

Oh wait, one more: No rules against scolding the fuck out of someone for being stupid either! Live with that.

Acting all "defiant" and saying that you're your own man and this is clearly an act of the strong to bring down the weak? What bullshit. So being the "weak" one, what now? Fight back? Continue doing what you are already doing? No one ganged up on no one. It just so happens that fucking around with 20 people causes 20 people to fuck around with you right back, DOESN'T FUCKING CONSTITUTE ganging up on someone. In the first place, question is why start something in the first place and whine about it after?

After all this time, the message isn't still getting through that thick skull to live life, not "normally", but peacefully with those around you. Every day, it becomes more and more apparent how pathetic you really are. Every day, it becomes more and more comical and laughable at how insecure you really are. Every day, it becomes more and more sad at how dellusional you really are. Good luck to the next 40 years of your life because it's only going to get worse from here on end.

posted by The Als @ 2:02 pm 0 comments

Wednesday, June 03, 2009

Prostitution at its best.

Today's bunch of "sweet nothings" and "abalones of wisdom" by yours truly:
(Hold on to them! Teach your kids! Alsonism is the way of the enlightened!)

- If you're satisfied with life, you don't need to satisfy yourself. (Yes, I meant it in the other meaning)

- A prostitute for money and/or a prostitute for gifts and/or a prostitute for attention, still IS, at the end of it all, a prostitute.

- "Money talks". If money could talk, wouldn't it be really scary if you whip out 10 bucks and Yusoff Ishak started chatting with you as you were paying for a burger?

- Confucious says: "Man who put nose into places it doesn't belong, always ends up in jail for sexual assault."

- Singaporeans have paradox: They queue for free things, they queue for good food, they queue to pay for things, they queue to withdraw money. BUT THEY FUCKING CAN'T QUEUE UP TO LET PEOPLE OFF THE FUCKING MRT.

- Why do hokkien curses always target the mother? Whatever happened to the equality between sexes? We need more father-orientated curses. Unify the family unit. Don't leave the father out of your abuse!

- Making "a bee line" for something doesn't involve walking straight toward it. If anyone made "a bee line" for something, they'll effing walk all over the place in circles!! Hasn't anyone seen how bees move??

- A bull in a china shop... HELLO!? THERE ARE NO BULLS IN CHINA!!

- Ever wondered why they still call it the "BOYfriend" and "GIRLfriend"? Well, it wouldn't sound as sexy or cute as "MANfriend" or "WOMANfriend" wouldn't it?

- Contrary to popular belief, Issac Newton wasn't "getting inspiration" under a tree. He was supposed to do work, but he chao keng, eat snake. This gave birth to the first indept Singaporean NSF.

- Men deserve sexual equality too. So as from now on, the following terms will be changed to portray a more "politically correct" standpoint:

Womenstral Cramps
Womenopause
PWS - Pre Womenstral Syndrome
Womental Breakdowns, for cases regarding female patients.
Womandrin, because it's a mother tongue.
Womango, the brand of clothing, because it caters to women, not men.
Womanicure, because mostly only women do it.

However, several terms will remain unchanged:
Manipulate, because it's always the women who psyco the men to do things.
Man-power, because construction workers are mostly men.
(Instruction) Manual, because unlike men, women are impossible to read and dicipher.
Manure, due to popular demand by women all over the world, who refuse to change this.

Teach this to your kids and they will grow up strong and healthy!

Today's Song: Never gonna give you up - Rick Astley

MRT Watch: People STILL don't know how to let people out so they can go in.

In totally unrelated news: Two new inventions are in the pipeline to rival the Push-up Bra and the Underwire bra: The push-up and underwire briefs for men. More crotch clevage, oops, i mean, clevagé

posted by The Als @ 2:00 am 2 comments

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