A wonder, no wonder: October 2009

A wonder, no wonder

Monday, October 12, 2009

Time warp, life leech and.. Geez, I'm starting to sound like a dota character.

Are we really THAT busy? No, really. Think about that a sec. Somehow, alot of us claim that we're busy, we have no time, we can't do this and that because there isn't enough time. But thinking about it, we actually do. Instead of doing critical things like studying, taking out the rubbish, cleaning your room, meeting that friend, cough*blogging*cough, etc. What we're really doing is lazing in front of the tv, bumming around, surfing useless webpages (NO, SHUT UP. SOCCER IS IMPORTANT) and playing useless games.

We take the easy way out half the time. We make excuses. We blame it on other things and other people. We tell ourselves (and others for that matter) that this or that's not important enough for you to handle right away. We blame it on other people, saying that they're taking up too much of our time. Critical assignments which we put off till too long tend to end up kicking us in the cornhole. Damn essays and writing. At the end of it, we take easy ways out: Put in less effort, pump in more empty lines, or, best yet, leech other people's ideas and work and call it our own. (Which can be illegal boys and girls!) Get your own damn ideas. Get inspired. Read a book. Watch TV. Eat doughnuts. Chew your toenails. Watch paint dry. I don't care what you do, get your own damn ideas.

No matter how much we whine about it, essentially, 24 hours goes on the same for each person. Financial planning? How about Chronological Planning? A life skill that we really should be learning as we go on in life, it's important to budget time for ourselves, our family, friends and well, if it's applicable to you, most importantly, God. (In whatever form you believe in). Like a very nice quote on Matt's shirt yesterday: "Give God what's right. Not what's left".

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By the way... NEW Miss Singapore World!

Miss Pilar Arlando! Pretty, eloquent, angmoh! Steady.

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Yes! Moving right along to the I.R. - Idiot Report.

P, p, p, p, painful face.

Yes, yes, idiots are everywhere. Just like today when one poor sec school kid promptly smacks himself face first into a glass door. I won't say where this happened because IF I do, it's incredibly easy to guess where the kid is from and well, let's just say I don't want to attract more attention to him than he already did.

Remember Mr. Lonely?

Mr. Lonely, quite a few months ago felt really lonely so he decided to play around by himself. *nudge nudge* He decided to use a toy, a.k.a. a plastic mineral water bottle and well, let's just say that when Mr. Lonely became Mr. Happypants, something got stuck somewhere, needing a critical emergency operation to remove the waterbottle before Mr. Lonely became Mr. Eunuch. Moral of story? Don't. Use. A. Plastic. Bottle.
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Oh and by the way, I do want to brag (sorry! HA) about the total nonsense AND work that I've done on Photoshop the past few weeks:

Done in 10 minutes:

K.I.A's new slogan

Done in 30 minutes:

The founding members of K.I.A

Done in 1 hour:

Brand new logo, designed and drawn from scratch for project

Please kindly note the increased quality of ~~nonsense~~ work with more time taken.

Today's Song: How far we've come - Matchbox Twenty

MRT Watch: Before entering Kallang station tunnel: Bright sunshine.
After exitting tunnel at Redhill: Overcast skies with pouring rain. Nice. *#&^@&*

Confucius says: Grasshopper. When I told you to get on the coach, I meant for you to get on the tour bus. I didn't mean for you to hump your badminton coach!!

In totally unrelated news: This is a global blog! Steady sia. I've had quite a few visitors from the US of A, one from Sweden, one from France, one from Canada and even one from Iran!

posted by The Als @ 8:18 pm 0 comments

Sunday, October 04, 2009

The Scourge of Singapore

My, my. Where do I begin? I called it. I freaking called it. Ris Low was gonna start some major chain reaction and I called it. I pride in being on of the first few to actually write about her even before the whole wave of newspaper and tv coverage came. (Yeah, like that's something to actually covet) Anyways, I'm glad I started the ball rolling with the "inside scoop" among my circle on friends, "early innovator", the early minority who are "in" before the rest of the people are. But ah well. Turns out that Ris Low, Miss Ris Low, our wonderful, excellent, EPITOME of Singaporean single ladies (all the single ladies, all the single ladies) has done in herself once again. Where do I even start?

Something..... you know...... BOOMZ
First she starts by insulting every little bit of the engRish language by yammering on about her bigini and her kahki green. I don't care that her chinese language is fluent and well spoken. I don't care if she can speak 10 languages other than english. English is the first language here, the most recognised, live with that fact. If we wanted a chinese/malay/tamil speaking Miss Singapore, we would have gone out and hired foreign talent like Singapore ALWAYS does.

Community Ambassadress 2009, Miss Lumiere Ambassadress 2009, Miss Best Dressed 2009, Miss Dazzling Eyes 2009, Miss Photogenic 2009, Miss Crowning Glory 2009, and Miss Best in Catwalk 2009 and finally Crowned Miss Singapore World 2009
Apparently she SWEPT the field at the Miss Singapore World pagent, bagging 8 (READ: 8!!!) awards, including eventual crown. Give me a break. Notice how all the awards were for her pretty face and none for "Miss Eloquent". If she bagged all those awards, I shudder to think if the rest of the contestants were really THAT bad.

Yellow Ribbon Project
Ris Low should be really glad that the government has been stepping up their yellow ribbon project publicity recently. The campaign talks about giving ex-convicts a second chance in life and to unlock the "second prison". Well. Good for Ris as she's been convicted of credit card fraud. 24 months probation.

Bipolar Disorder
Well, apparently Ris has been diagnosed for Bipolar disorder relating to Kleptomania. (Mental disease that causes a person to repeatedly steal things). This happened after being convicted and the whole saga started to spiral dangerously out of control. What next?

Miss Singapore World 2009 no more
Well, credit to her. After initially refusing to step down, she finally has. Not that it's a victory for anyone or anything like that, more so, it's more like a relief that Singapore will not be MISS-represented (excuse the pun) at the Miss World pageant held at South Africa.

4 weeks to find a replacement
Apparently, news reports say that ERM will take 4 weeks to find a replacement. Well, I can do them one better. Off the top of my head right now, I can think of at least 10 girls (I'm serious.) who are better than her and can more than represent themselves and Singapore. I took 45 seconds. ERM needs 4 weeks.

At the end of it all...
What's my point? At the end of this, what do I really want to get out of it? Well, my point is that this saga's over. Time to finally leave her alone. Time to get on with your damn life. She wants to change, she wants to stop. So, enough ridicule, we've all had our "fun". Ris, if you do happen to ever read this, I wish you nothing but the best in your life from here on end cause things can only get better from here on end when you're at the rock bottom.

P.S. Take english lessons baby.

Today's Song: War Machine - AC/DC

MRT Watch: 7.30am trains are the worst. Even sardines in a can have more room.

Confucius says: Man at airport who go through gantry sideways is going to Bangkok.

In totally unrelated news: Tips on becoming a better "free sample grabber":
1) Don't laugh uncontrollably when you go take the samples.
2) Don't poke and poke and poke multiple pieces of food on your toothpick. Poke two, three pieces in one shot
3) Don't walk around with crazed look in your eyes and toothpick(s) in hand
4) Don't hide behind people and giggle when you get your free sample
5) Pretend to be interested, then take your food, then casually walk away
6) Don't run away cackling in triumph when you manage to grab a bunch free samples
7) You have 2 hands, but use only 1 toothpick. Not one hand, one toothpick.

Ari, I hope this helps! Our very own lovable mooncake free sample yau gui

posted by The Als @ 2:58 am 7 comments

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