A wonder, no wonder: Meant to Live

A wonder, no wonder

Monday, March 30, 2009

Meant to Live

Wouldn’t it actually be wildly interesting to actually count down the days, hours, minutes or seconds until you actually pass away? Wouldn’t that amount of time left just motivate you in some way? What would you do in your remaining time? Would you do everything that you wanted to do?

Now then, come think of it when you realise you had another 65 years to live. Would that motivate you in some way? Or just make it seem like an eternal torture to live your life for another 65 years? In some sense, it boils down to purpose. Our reason for living on. Our reason for coping with the mundane routine of life. Our reason for bearing with the annoying people that annoy you time and again.

After all, what then is our personal reason for living? Why are we so nice to people? I find myself staring into the mirror, unable to recognise the shadow staring back in return. There is no reason to live, nor is there any reason to love. Thinking back on life passed, thinking about all the people I’ve put up with, thinking of the lives i’ve worked so hard to change, including my own. What for? Intrinsic value? Do we just do these things to make ourselves feel accomplished or do we just do these things just to make others look at us in a certain enlightening way? Then again, one must realise that if you don’t ultimately have a meaning or purpose, well, in the words of Agent Smith in the Matrix, we’re better off getting “deleted” instead.

Soul searching essentially is searching, looking for a soul. Your own, in reference. Why bother searching for a soul in the first place if you haven’t lost it in the first place? Unfortunately, it isn’t just that easy to walk around and pick up a soul like how you would with 10 cents. (I’m sure souls are worth a little more than that)

Cynically, some people deserve to be put out of their pathetic misery. Spending their lives actually making the lives of others that much more miserable. If they live to annoy the hell out of people then maybe they should be removed from their purpose. Totally oblivious to the fact that their little “outbursts” or their annoying mindless droning “chatter” bores and annoys the living life out of people. Delusional toward others, toward life. Unfortunately we can’t put them out. Neither do we have the enjoyment of having a “time left to death” timer above their forehead to remind us about the amount of time left we have to endure.

Once you’ve found your purpose, don’t let go. Otherwise you’ll more or less be like this shadow in the mirror that I stare at face to face. I don’t recognise him anymore; neither do I know why he’s there. He’s tired half the time and can’t bear to live life as it is. Until this shadow finds his purpose or the meaning to his life, he will always be a shadow, gliding silently down hallways and paths. Haunting wherever he goes, going through the motions of infinitely boring life.

posted by The Als @ 2:06 pm

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