A wonder, no wonder: The hopeless puppy and the sexy kitten. Meow!

A wonder, no wonder

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

The hopeless puppy and the sexy kitten. Meow!

Amazingly enough, this has been my most productive day yet. Project meeting, assignment discussions, lessons and surprisingly, it’s another of those days where I feel that my writing is available to flow naturally.

I feel the injustice for all of us. Manuals range from operating machines, how to count cards, how to hack programs, how to create life, how to create bombs and all that. Endless stuff. Manuals in English that teach us how to speak English. Ironic even. Brings us to one astonishing truth: Some wisecrack decided to write the ultimate manual: A manual for Dating. Relationships. Courtship. The Chase. The Game.

Now generally there are many types of dating manuals. Some touch on the basis of dating, certain universal rules of dating that generally everyone in this modern civilized world seems to follow. (Sadly some people don’t, but that’s another story). Putting things into context, it’s a wonder how people are able to put together a manual on the “hows” of the dating ritual. It’s as relationship forming is all part of some process. Well, I do know that there are different stages in which relationships are formed, that’s a given. More so, who in the hell invented the “steps” to complete each stage? It’s not some adventure game where if you solve some puzzle or if you say a certain pick-up line, and poof, the girl’s yours. What ever happened to attraction? What happened to romance? What ever damn happened to being innovative and spontaneous?

What has happened is that this systemic failure of society (and men, basically) is that men today have lost the ability to surprise their partner, male or female. Essentially we’re seeing more and more men being turned into pre-programmed drones who buzz around women and lack every type of basic social etiquette and manner to actually be friends with a lady. (Let alone get her attraction.) Well, when these so-called “men” get faced with a entirely spontaneous question or a situation, they crack. They freeze. What happens is that so much of the time, women these days are being disappointed more and more. Men rush into relationships and become unhappy. Men sleep with their partners and a few months later, find them “boring”. Men don’t know how to attract. Men have forgotten the art of charisma. Men, sadly, have lost the ability to romance. And men, most importantly, and most saddening, have forgotten the art of chivalry. Ladies would gladly agree I’m afraid.

Now, now, The Als isn’t saying he’s some world’s greatest lover or what not. I’m just saying that at least through LIFE’S LESSONS and experience, I’ve learned how to conduct myself well enough. It frustrating how many men are afraid of failure. Animals learn the mating rituals from scratch with some in-built instinct. Humans are no damn different. However, being that we are, HUMANS, each individual is different. I.E. each woman is different. Live with that, men.

We men try very hard I do have to say. We try everything to see how it fits. How each female would ultimately react to what we do. Some of us flex our muscles in hope of attraction. Some of us joke our way into their hearts. Some cook (good skill to learn my fellow men, hint hint.), some clean, some charm and some chim (sophisticate) their way into women’s hearts. So with that said, women, especially those who are single, and available, please. Please look at the bunch of doe-eyed men sitting and smiling enthusiastically beside you and please. Please give them a hint. A BIG ONE. Men are dreadfully ignorant of hints even though you’re smacking them in the head with one. Please do your friendly neighbouring infatuated male a favour by hinting him please. A simple “I think we should go out” or “Get out of my face perv!” would suffice.

To whoever wrote those dating “guides”: Dating and relationships aren’t some Role Playing Game where you have to solve some puzzle or fight some boss to get to the next round of intimacy. Humans are annoyingly different. The cute girl next to you may be the clingy-est baby monkey you’ve ever seen, and the sultry hottie next to her may be have the simplest needs ever. It’s hard to tell and it’s hard to work out this human to human drama!

Men, take a look inside your pants and note the two “things” hanging around saying hello. Yes! As amazing as that looks and sounds (and smells, for some of you) you have balls! So act like you do!

Ladies, take a good look at the eager beaver sitting next to you trying to get a date with you. Write a note, touch his arm, flirt the hell out of him, anything. Just drop a sign to that puppy dog following you around to either leap into your arms or tell him to go eat some poo. Your choice.

posted by The Als @ 5:09 pm

2 Comments:

At 9:05 am, Mark Soo said…

This is Finteresting...
I think you are very much right about dating manuals. I haven't read any before but I feel that we can always get some fresh new ideas/insights from there but at the same time, not be dependent on them.

I also believe that if we put in more effort to improve/conduct ourselves, and by using our creative juices to inject fun and enthusiasm into our relationships, as long as we bother to go the extra mile to make things work, we might somehow get there.
At 9:37 pm, The Als said…

Hahaha yes yes. This is long overdue but a fine welcome to my new fans!

A few more members and we can start a groupie club for me.