A wonder, no wonder: The freak, meek 3 week holiday!

A wonder, no wonder

Saturday, August 08, 2009

The freak, meek 3 week holiday!

I spent the last week or so shuttling in between studying and more studying. After much slaving over two thick, pathetic books, exams are officially OVER and holidays are now officially IN SESSION! Imagine studying 15 chapters each from 2 books in 6 weeks. Now THAT'S intense. It's like cramming 2 Big Macs (TM) into your mouth at lunchtime. Near impossible but I suppose I pulled it off decently. Now I just wait to be surprised by the results.

Before I go on with other things, first, a big HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Singapore! Being involved for 2 years with the fireworks at NDP has been really special and if there comes a chance for me to work with the commercial pyrotechnic crews for NDP, I sure as heck would want to! I've got 2 year's worth of experience in NDP and I'm a certified Ammunition Technician Specialist I. (Self advertisement)

Now... It's been bothering me that certain people are using their backsides to think. One thing would be the annoying china girl (ACG) on the MRT. Now, don't call me a racist, but honestly, ACG's pastries must be SO SO TIRED because the 2 small boxes of pastries were seated in the priority seat beside her on a decently post-rush hour train. Totally oblivious to all the evil eyes that people were trying to stare daggers with. Pretend to sleep somemore. Pretend to look around. Pretend not to care. I've been thinking we can add more things to what the MRT marshals can carry with them:

MRT Marshals should carry:

1) Cattle Prods - To zap those young, pretend pretend sleep idiots who take the priority seats.

2) Hand Axes - To lop off the legs of those who cross their legs and rub their dirty soles on the pants of the person beside them.

3) Fat, starving 5 year old boy - To eat away food that's put on the seat. Yes, I haven't forgotten you Chicken Rice Woman.

4) Handcuffs - So they can chain those people who lean/hug/buah/lie on the holding poles TO the poles themselves since they LOVE the pole so much.

5) A HUGE "THIS IS SINGAPORE" Stamp - So we can stamp "THIS IS SINGAPORE" on to the foreheads of those foreigners to FAIL to realise that this country isn't China, isn't India, Nepal, Uganda, America, whatnot. This IS Singapore and there are social rules and norms to follow.

Speaking of idiots... Apparently celebrities aren't using their heads as well. Take Hayden Panettiere for example. Little HEROES cheerleader. This might be old news to some but I've been wanting to write about this for awhile. I totally can't wrap my mind around how hopelessly... well... I'll let you see for yourself:

Well, yeah. Here's the thing. It's one thing to show a little skin and wear something "sexy". Now, it's another thing to reveal too much. I call it TMI. Too Much Info. Precisely. This? Too much info. Wayyyyy too much info.

Thank you Hayden, I'm sure many prepubescent boys would be very happy to see this but please.. In the words of Pastor Joel, less is more. Seriously.

I've been playing Plants VS Zombies for the past week now and it's been a total blast man. I just got my brains eaten after completing 73 flags (BEAT THAT) in Survival Endless. Trust me, if you think it's that easy to beat, think again. Get as far as I did and find out how hard it is for yourself. Completed Adventure mode twice, have a nice Zen Garden, completed the Encyclopedia, completed the Minigames, completed all Survival Modes and completed all puzzles. Man. I need to get a life. I need a new game to kill time.

Oh, I've been tasked to take control of a media campaign for an upcoming GEL Youth event in September! Hah! I remember sharing today that God had a plan for putting me into SIM and studying what I am now. And this is the first of many assignments that I'll be overseeing and executing. Finally I can get to use some of the nonsense that's been crammed into my head!

Today's Song: Livin' on a Prayer - Bon Jovi

MRT Watch: I wait for the day where my writing will change Singapore for the better. I have a dream. I have a dream that one day, MRT Marshals will have the authority and tools (see above) to enforce the law, vigilante style.

Confucius says: Grasshopper, if you want it to snow in Singapore, very simple steps:
1) Go to freezer.
2) Take Ice.
3) Crush Ice.
4) Get friend to sprinkle on you.
5) Laugh in pleasure.

In totally unrelated news: 8 more days to the start of the Barclay's Premier League!! Tomorrow: Manchester United VS Chelsea - English FA Community Shield! GO REDS!

posted by The Als @ 10:29 pm

3 Comments:

At 2:47 am, Ying said…

LOLOL!

Yeah la..oh poor dear cakes, are you tired? Here, take a seat. You deserve them more than the Ah Mah over there.

($&% you la. Still can look around, look me in the eye like nothing is wrong & look away again. BITCH.
Selfish stupid person. You are in Singapore man. RECOGNISE and FOLLOW our norms.

Cattle prods all the way!

You & I Als, we first ones to sign up to be Volunteer Marshalls patrolling on the MRT.

Don't forget, we need devices to punish errant and irresponsible parents who do not fold up their baby strollers/ carriages too! )(#&$)#&%()^%()#%&#(%)
At 2:50 am, The Als said…

YES. I want to have the rank of Captain. Captain Alson!

Didn't fold up pram? ZAP!
Don't give up seat to ah mah? ZAP!
Touch my leg with dirty shoe sole? CHOP!
Hug the hand pole? ZAP!
Talk too loud? ZAP!
Smell too bad? ZAP!
Push me out of the way? ZAP!
Rush in before I get out? ZAP!
Complain that I ZAP! people too much? ZAP!
At 3:01 am, Ying said…

LOLOL!!!

YES!! ZAP!!!

Can you imagine, in future, when irritating people stand in the middle when people are getting off the train, we look through the glass & grin menacingly while activating our cattle prods so they can see the electric current!

LOL! Sure-fire method to get us out in double-quick time! :D